Things I regret
Scout. Going to BTW. Not being a better grandson to my mom’s parents. Lying so much. Trying to kill myself. Malorie. Being so cold to everyone for so long. Thinking about killing people so much for a few years there. Not having black hair. Not being at least partly Jewish. Being born into a family of alcoholics. Taking Algebra I twice. Not being a better singer. Trusting too much when I should’ve trusted less. Trusting too little when I should’ve trusted more. Amber. Gaining weight. Reading so much about the Holocaust. Picking so few flowers. Taking so few walks. Not crying at any of the three funerals I’ve been to. Being so afraid all the time. Having no friends. Laughing so little. Not living up to my potential. Not crying enough. Being up at 1 AM on a school night, writing out something like this. Not being able to think of anything else to say, knowing there’s a lot more I just can’t think of at the moment on account of exhaustion.
